10 Slogans my Electric Company Should Adopt

After experiencing another year of power failures, blown circuits, and paying utility bills, I’ve decided to help my electric company by providing them with some public relations slogans. I hear my neighbors complain about the power company all the time, so it’s the least that I can do in return for their inconsistent service and the privilege of paying for it. Here are 10 slogans that my electric company should adopt.

1. Every hour spent waiting for power to return is an hour that you aren’t paying for electricity. Yes, it’s true. When your power is off due to weather or our lack of maintenance, you are saving money!
2. We promise that storms don’t have to be nearby to cut power to your home. No high winds or lightning strikes in your neighborhood? Don’t worry, we’ve found ways to network so that electricity can be affected by weather events that occur 10′s of miles away from your home!
3. Candlelight card games: Our gift of quiet family time for you. Because we know how hard it is to schedule a quiet family night without televisions or computers to distract your attention from each other.
4. Our rate hikes help you to be more efficient. It’s not about income for our shareholders, it’s about helping you learn to live greener.
5. Transformer Failure: A Neighborhood Social Event. There is simply nothing like milling around in front yards and on the street, speculating on how long the power will be out, to help you get to know your neighbors better.
6. Surges and Drop-offs: Helping You Know When to Replace Appliances. You’ve known for a long time that the old refrigerator needed to be replaced, so we’ve finally made the decision easy for you by frying the compressor in that old inefficient beast.
7. Our rates will reduce your business tax burden. We all know about the heavy taxes that small businesses pay, and how difficult it is to provide jobs when income taxes take a large bite of your business income. By raising your rates, we give you more expenses to deduct, resulting in lower taxes at the end of the year. Employment should be skyrocketing throughout our business customer base!
8. Catch the Buzz! High voltage power lines are coming soon to a neighborhood near you.
9. We’ll tear up your yard and street, just because we can! We don’t even charge you anything extra for the right to have neighborhood detours and front yard mud pits.
10. It’s not our fault you decided to live here! Winter cold, summer heat, weather surprises throughout the year. You like it here, you pay the price in high rates and random power failures. Get over it.

I’d go on with more nifty PR slogans to help the electric company polish its public image, but the electricity is currently not working in the neighborhood, and my computer battery is just about de…

Taken From Compare Electricity Rates