Monday, November 21, 2011

10 Celebrities in my Phone Book and Their Ringtones

It’s one big pain in the neck having to load contacts into a new phone. It usually keeps me busy for about half the day since I also wind up downloading new ringtones. The fun part is in choosing tones that match some of the contacts on my list, something that tells me who it is without having to look. And since I’m kind of a big deal, and some of my contacts are celebrities, it can really be fun. Just for grins, I’m going to share a list of ten celebrities in my phone book, and their ringtones:

  1. Whitney Houston – Sadly, there are several entries in my phone book that have seen better days. There was one moment in time when that wasn’t the case for Whitney. Now, however, whenever she calls I hear Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill.
  2. Chris Tucker – In his stand-up act, the financially challenged Tucker quips that he should never have taken tax advice from Wesley Snipes. Somehow I don’t think he’s joking: Taxman by The Beatles.
  3. Charlie Sheen – Yet another falling star on my celebrity phone list. Regardless of whatever pharmaceutically enhanced reality he’s created for himself, this guy is definitely not winning: They’re Coming to Take Me Away by Napoleon XIV.
  4. Lindsay Lohan – Looking over this list, I can see why my voice mailbox is always full. Who needs to be taking calls asking for bail money at 3 AM? I Fought the Law by The Clash.
  5. Jennifer Lopez – Not that I’m complaining, J. Lo, because I mean this in the most flattering possible way. Really. I just couldn’t resist: Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen.
  6. Phoenix Jones – You never know what evil may be lurking around the corner in Emerald City, and the cops can’t be everywhere. So whenever I’m in the Seattle area, I make sure I’ve got this local superhero’s number on speed dial. Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler.
  7. Hank Williams Jr. – Someone should tell Hank he needs to stick to songwriting, and keep that bottle as far out of his reach as politics seems to be. I’d talk to him myself if I didn’t have to use up all of my minutes trying to understand what he’s saying. Big Mouth Strikes Again by The Smiths.
  8. Simon Cowell – Maybe it’s the upcoming holiday season, but this one just feels so right, you would almost think it was written just for him. You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch by Thurl Ravenscroft.
  9. Bill Clinton – Despite his assurances that he’s kicked the habit, I keep this ringtone downloaded just as a reminder. I just hate to see a friend struggle with an addiction: Have a Cigar by Pink Floyd.
  10. Dr. Phil – The truth is, I actually forward a lot of these calls to my good friend, Phil. He’s got a rep for getting people who’ve gone astray to feel good about themselves again. So, naturally: Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crüe.
Taken From Home Phone Service

No comments:

Post a Comment