Salesmen have a tough job. They have to sell a product, often a lousy one, to customers who come in on the defensive from the get-go because they know the salesman is going to try to take their hard-earned cash. We know how hard it is out there for you cold-callers, and in honor of the upcoming National Salesperson Day, we present the all-time best salesmen characters ever on the silver screen. These are the guys who wouldn’t take no for answer, who fought the good fight, and who lied through every pore to make that sale.
[Some clips contain adult language.]
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Ricky Roma, ”Glengarry Glen Ross”
This is the essential salesmen movie. Four real estate agents have one week to make enough sales to keep their jobs by competing with each other. Al Pacino plays Ricky Roma, the fast-talking hotshot of the group. At a bar, he slowly wins over a wimpy potential client by virtually singing him a lullaby of reassurance. It may seem like he’s just a guy shooting the breeze over a drink after hours, but he’s selling the entire time. Brilliant.
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Jim Young, “Boiler Room”
A young Vin Diesel and Phoebe’s brother become stock brokers at a chop shop brokerage firm, selling bogus stocks to suckers over the phone. But their king is Ben Affleck as Jim Young, who will happily tell you is a “f***-ing millionaire” if you ask him. When the guys miss their monthly quota, Young comes in to kick a few rear ends and fire them up. After all, when he was in their place he secured 40 accounts in 26 days. Motion creates emotion!
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Harold Hill, “The Music Man”
Every salesman has a product, but not everyone has a market for that product; that’s when the great salesmen create one out of thin air. Take traveling salesman Harold Hill. He is ready to sell the town of River City a boy’s band, but they are too preoccupied with the new town pool table. So with one catchy tune, The Music Man fires up the townspeople, turns them against the competition, and hands the good folks the alternative.
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Rudy Russo, “Used Cars”
Rudy Russo is the all-time best example of the sleazy used-car salesman. He’s got the hideous clothing, the fake gold watch, and he aspires to reach the pinnacle of his profession: becoming a politician. There are no depths to which he will not sink. So who needs a marketing plan to get bodies on the lot when you’ve got a fishing pole, a ten-dollar bill, and a supply of customers in the lot across the street?
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Don Ready, “The Goods”
Don Ready’s got the goods. You know, the “it,” the panache, the chutzpah. A desperate owner of a car dealership brings Ready in to sell all 211 of his cars over July 4th weekend to save the business. That’s how good Don is. He’s so good, he can turn a warning from a flight attendant about smoking on a plane into a fight against tyranny, comparing himself to Rosa Parks to the cheers of the other passengers.
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Emory Leeson, “Crazy People”
Emory Leeson is a different kind of salesman; he’s a suit in a corporate office working in advertising. He’s one our favorite salesmen because he actually wants to be honest with consumers. The car we’re selling is ugly? Let’s make ads admitting it’s ugly! People can tell it’s ugly, why not just admit it? If only there were more Emorys on Madison Avenue. Of course, the reason there aren’t more is probably because they’ve been admitted to psychiatric hospitals, like Emory is.
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Larry Mann, “The Big Kahuna”
In his many years as an industrial lubricant salesman, Larry Mann has seen it all. He’s grown bitter and cynical, but when it comes to seeing through people he’s an expert. He drops some hysterical lines in this movie, most of them mockeries of other people. In this clip he explains to a rookie how to know when someone is lying to you, and what he would say in that situation.
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Penny Wise, “Prime Gig”
Four years after his breakout role in “Swingers”, Vince Vaughn played “Penny” Wise in this film about a smooth-talking scam artist who cons people with fake travel deals over the phone. The job he takes scamming for a corrupt businessman goes downhill quickly as he starts striking out on his sales calls. The boss’s girlfriend interrupts one of his calls to tell him to make that sale or be fired. Does he fold? No, he tells that chump to get out his checkbook.
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Ed, “National Lampoon’s Vacation”
Eugene Levy has played handfuls of hilarious characters, but he was born to play a slimy car salesman. When Clark Griswold comes by the dealership to pick up the Antarctic blue super sports wagon with the optional rally fun pack he ordered, Ed the salesman manages to put him in the “metallic pea” Truckster, which is a damn fine automobile, if you want his honest opinion. And if you think you hate it now, just wait ’til you drive it, baby.
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Jerry Lundegaard, “Fargo”
Oh, geez. We go far north for this classic movie salesman, all the way to North Dakota, eh. “Fargo” is the story of sad-sack salesman Jerry Lundegaard, who hires two convicts to kidnap his wife and milk ransom money out of his rich father-in-law. But in this scene he’s just doing his thing, trying to soak a husband and wife for $500 for the infamous “true coat” to “protect their car from oxidation.” The beauty is the couple can totally tell he’s a liar but Lundegaard gets ‘em to pay up anyway.
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Peter Witner, “The New Age”
There’s a wise saying that people only want what they can’t have. Borrowing a page out of the reverse psychology handbook à la Eric Cartman, high-end clothing store co-owner Peter Witner insists to a snooty couple that the store is not real, it’s only a movie set, so get out. Before they had been “only looking”, but wouldn’t you know it, now they simply have to have what he’s not selling. Well played, Peter.
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