10 Nursery Rhymes With Really Weird Subtexts

Have you ever taken a close look at the words of some familiar nursery rhymes, and wondered just what they meant? We have, and we’ve got to say that some of them are flat out weird. What these people were thinking (drinking?) when they wrote these rhymes is beyond us, so we’ve compiled a list of them. Here are 10 nursery rhymes with some really weird subtexts going on:

1. Goosey, Goosey Gander

Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither dost thou wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady’s chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn’t say his prayers;
I took him by the left leg,
And threw him down the stairs.
What the …? Abusing the elderly for not praying!? We don’t even want to contemplate what the
moral of this one is supposed to be for little kids.

2. It’s Raining, It’s Pouring

It’s raining, it’s pouring
The old man is snoring
He went to bed and he bumped his head
And couldn’t get up in the morning.

We detect a pattern here. Nursery rhymes are clearly not healthy for old folks.

3. Rock-a-Bye, Baby

Rock-a-bye, baby,
In the tree top.
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall,
And down will come baby,
Cradle and all.

Then again, it seems that infants don’t fare a whole lot better. Such violent rhymes we have.

4. Rub-a-Dub-Dub

Rub a dub dub,
Three men in a tub,
And who do you think they be?
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick maker.
Turn them out, knaves all three.

It’s probably best not to dwell on this scenario, but honestly, what the heck is going on here?

5. There Was an Old Woman

There was an old woman,
Who lived in a shoe;
She had so many children,
She didn’t know what to do.
She gave them some broth,
Without any bread;
She whipped them all soundly,
And sent them to bed.

Oh, that’s just lovely. As if it isn’t bad enough that this dysfunctional family is living crammed
together inside of footwear for a home. You would think odor control would be enough of an
issue, but now, add to that birth control as well. Topped off with child abuse. Lord help us.

6. Ladybug, Ladybug

Ladybug, Ladybug
Fly away home.
Your house is on fire.
And your children all gone.
All except one,
And that’s little Ann,
For she crept under
The frying pan.

Is this where we got the expression “from the frying pan into the fire”? Either way, it makes
you wonder how these notions ever became children’s nursery rhymes.

7. Georgie Porgie

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.

Just what kind of freak is this Georgie Porgie, anyway? Makes girls cry, then buggers off when the boys show up. Sounds like a real perv, if you ask us.

8. Peter, Perter, Pumpkin Eater

Peter Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her!
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well!

If we’re reading this one correctly, this Peter dude is one abusive spouse. What are we teaching our youth, for Pete’s sake?

9. Wee Willie Winkie

Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
Tapping at the window and crying through the lock,
Are all the children in their beds, it’s past eight o’clock?

So what’s the deal with this kid exactly? Is he some sleep-walking exhibitionist? Because with a name like Wee Willie Winkie, we’re guessing there’s not much reason for showing off. Just saying.

10. Diddle, Diddle, Dumpling

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John,
Went to bed with his trousers on;
One shoe off, and one shoe on,
Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John!

We don’t want to rush to any conclusions about your son John there, Dad, but have you Googled the word diddle?

Taken From Nanny Net