Thursday, August 23, 2012

10 Challenges for Nannies that Could be Olympic Events

The Olympics are a true testament to commitment, strength, determination, and an unwavering belief that you can succeed regardless as to if the odds are stacked against you or not. Nannies, you may not be on the worldwide stage, but you still show your Olympic spirit every day.

1. Putting a Sleeping Baby Down Without Waking Her

This feat requires a delicate balance of strength, stealth, controlled breathing, and sheer good luck. You’ve practiced it a thousand times but you wonder if now, when it really counts, you’ll be able to pull it off: The lift off the chair while moving straight into the clean sweep, hovering over the crib rail, and deftly slipping right into the final placement of the bundle of joy into the crib. Now to hold the position until her “I’m asleep” sign gives you the thumbs up. All that’s left is to just make it out of the room.

2. Keeping the Snack Away From the Dog

Is keep-away an Olympic sport? If not, it should be. Take a toddler with a cup filled to the tippy top with Goldfish, add in an always hungry Lab with the steel concentration and nibble reactions of a world class ping pong champion and it’s on. The toddler balances uneasily on the couch and moves the cup up and down, back and forth. Rover sits patiently, watching and waiting for that split second opportunity to take the gold. You swoop in just in time to save the snack and leave the competition in the dust.

3. Washing the Favorite Blanket

You’ve kept it out of your routine for as long as you can. But you know that the time has come to try the most difficult, risky exercise of the day: separating the baby from the blanket for the 86 minute wash and dry cycle. You work through the fear and just do it. It’s scary but those that came before you have said that if you can just get through the first few seconds, it will all be alright. You soon realize they were wrong. Oh, so wrong. Only 85 minutes to go.

4. Hiding All the Binkies Before the Baby Notices

Sometimes you have to play a little dirty to win. You quickly survey the field and notice not two, not four, not even six, but a total of eight binkies that are ready to be snagged up by the trying-to-be-binky-free waddler. You plot out a course and nimbly maneuver through it, effortlessly picking up binkies without even looking down. Your audience is so enamored with your singing he never sees what’s happening right in front of his eyes. Ah, the glory of winning.

5. Getting Out the Door at Quitting Time

The other side is doing everything to distract you: asking about your weekend plans, wondering if you could work late next week, showing you the latest recipe for the best pork chop in the world. But you don’t falter. You’re focused. You’ve visualized this moment and know exactly what you have to do. You hand over the baby with a smile, you highlight the best parts of the day, and you’re out the door. Note to self as you hop into the car: check out the pork chop recipe tomorrow.

6. Sneaking a Snack On the “Not For Kids” List

It’s one of those difficult skills that you make look easy. The subtle turn away from the highchair as you grab a piece of the party candy, then maneuver it right into the below-counter-level to unwrap it, and end with a quick pop in the mouth as you turn back around. One fluid motion is all they see: a chocolate piece of heaven is your reward.

7. Reading the Same Book 200 Times Without Losing Your Mind

Sometimes you just have to work through the pain. You put on a smile and say “Are you my mother?” Again. And again. And yes, again. You remind yourself that being the best isn’t easy. It’s isn’t always fun. But it’s what you live to do. Well, unless you have to read it 201 times. That might kill you.

8. Taming a Temper Tantrum

Your opponent has the upper hand. He’s pulling out moves you’ve never seen before and for a moment you’re ready to admit defeat. Then you remember all your hard work, your commitment, your know-how – and the new toy in the diaper bag – and you’re quickly back on top. Champions are made in the moment of challenge.

9. Diapering a Squirming Baby

You will not lose this battle. Not to someone smaller, weaker, squirmier, and OK, way cuter than you. You have a plan, you have the necessary tools, and now it’s time for the execution. What’s that? That’s not what’s supposed to happen. It might be time to call a foul.

10. Making a Healthy Snack a Kid Will Actually Eat

There has to be something that works. You try one approach and fail. You try a second approach and land face first. How do others make it looks so easy? Then you realize that it’s all about building up to the main event. You don’t go straight from chocolate chip cookies to carrot sticks and hummus. You have to master the bagel and cream cheese first. Then move onto the wheat cracker with cheese. Then finally, you’re ready to serve the veggie platter – right after you have a chocolate chip cookie.

Taken From Nanny Jobs

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