Many moms feel like they become a personal chauffer at a certain point, carting their kids from one activity to another throughout the week. From soccer practice to singing lessons, ballet to ballroom dance, parents are under enormous pressure to get and keep their kids involved with extracurricular activities.
Parents usually start feeling pressure to put their kids into an activity when they are around the age of 3. Other parents may ask what sport a child is into or what classes they are taking, and that’s often enough for a parent to reevaluate her choices of activities. Children learn best through play, but too often parents feel pressured to enroll their children into academically challenging preschools and sign them up for various team sports like soccer, even though they’re barely running, so that they don’t forfeit his chance to go pro.
According to the chair of ISA (Independent Schools Association) Graham Gorton, “Children like their own company. They lose the capability to amuse themselves if everything is put in front of them in an organized, structured, club type way.” Gorton also comments that if kids aren’t allowed to just go out and play they will fail to develop imaginative and inquiring minds.
Many parents worry that if they don’t enroll their children early enough, they’ll never become good enough. These concerns are often without merit. In 10th grade Charles Barkley, retired NBA star, didn’t make his high school varsity basketball team. He shot baskets in his neighborhood and jumped back and forth over a 4 foot high fence all the time, telling his mom that he was going to be in the NBA someday. Barkley did not play in organized basketball teams from a young age. He was raised by his mom and grandma and they didn’t have any money to enroll him. This is just one example of many that shows that children can become successful at an activity at any age, and don’t need to start playing or practicing as toddlers to ensure success.
As a result of this pressure, many children are overscheduled. How can you tell if your child is doing too much? Ask yourself if your child seems tired or lacks enthusiasm for things that he used to love. Does he complain about aches and pains that you never remember having when you were a kid? Are his grades dropping? Does he complain of headaches or bellyaches before heading to an activity? If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, your child might be too busy.
The solution to an overly busy child can be as easy as cutting out one activity a week. Create some down time in your family. If, after you drop one thing, you don’t see enough of a change, then drop something else. Consider creating an activity free day or two per week or insisting that certain times be free for family, school work, and good old fashioned, unscheduled fun.
Taken From Nanny Classifieds
"parents are under enormous pressure to get and keep their kids involved with extracurricular activities."
ReplyDeleteNo they aren't. Parents are doing this to themselves. I raised 2 kids into adulthood, and never felt anybody pressuring me to sign them up or enroll them in activities.
Parents simply don't know how to say "no"... to ANYTHING. There's enough already written about how parents don't say "no" to bad behavior enough, which is breeding generations of unruly brats. But they also need to say "no" when their child wants to sign up for everything he sees. Remember, children will not control or limit themselves. They will eat the whole box of cupcakes and then throw up. They will play until they are far too tired and then throw a tantrum. They will stay out in the snow way after they are turning blue and get sick.
It is up to parents to limit them. Let a child have one activity outside of school and no more. School, sleep, play, friends. That is ENOUGH. Boy oh boy. I was a kid 40 years ago. I came home from school, and played, unless I had homework, which I would do, and then I would play in the backyard. No running off to planned "activities". Ugh.
Don't get me wrong. If your kid wants to play an instrument, or sign up for Little League, GREAT. But keep it limited to one thing at a time.
More than anything else, kids need time to just be kids. It's not evil for them to spend lazy days doing "nothing" (as long as "nothing" isn't just sitting in front of the TV all day).
When kids have free time around the house, they invent their own games, they play with each other, they learn how to be good people, instead of being "bots" that always have to be on the go and be entertained.
Thanks Mr. Man,
ReplyDeleteI myself played soccer, and took English classes, when I was a kid. I was born in Mexico City. We speak Spanish there.
Without, some, of those extracurricular activities, I wouldn't be here writing this in English, and keeping a blog with some html.
BTW: I also found time to get a PhD in Theoretical Physics from the University of California.
I agree with you; let the kids pursue their interests. Nobody, nobody in my household, knew what Theoretical Physics was.
Please come again,
Eduardo