10 Signs a New TV Series is Going to Stink

Every autumn television viewers are greeted with a new crop of shows to test out; most of which will be considered a success if they complete their first season. Viewers can tell pretty quickly if a show is going to be worth watching for the entire season or not, and savvy viewers can spot a stinker simply by watching the pilot; here are ten signs that these connoisseurs use to make their predictions of a new show’s fate.

1. The “Big Star” is B-List, at Best – With every season there will be at least one attempt to revive the failing career of a once-great actor, or to launch the one of a struggling B-lister. With very rare exceptions, these shows are doomed to be horrible failures.
2. It’s a Vehicle for a Good Comic – For some inscrutable reason, the best stand-up comics tend to end up with absolutely terrible sitcoms. Though there are a few notable exceptions, bad comics end up with the relatively good shows as a general rule of thumb.
3. Competition is the Name of the Game – When a new show is announced, if the premise involves “real-life” people competing for a “grand prize,” the show is probably going to be a huge success while acting as a drain on the collective IQ of viewers.
4. It’s an Exploitative Reality Show – Though shows like TLC’s Toddlers & Tiaras are both fascinating and horrifying in equal measure, they’re also exploitative and edited to show most of the “stars” in the worst light possible. These shows are, almost without fail, sure to be a huge success despite the fact that no one will ever readily admit to watching them.
5. It’s a Rebooted Version of a Classic – Few trends have been as pervasive as the reboot in recent years. Hawaii Five-O and Charlie’s Angels were both part of the Fall 2011 lineup, with Hawaii Five-O seeing its second-season return despite less-than-impressive ratings.
6. It’s a Bandwagon Jumper – When something in Hollywood is a success, it’s inevitable that there will be more lookalikes and knock-offs than one could shake a proverbial stick at. The rise in Twilight fame brought on a television series based on the decades-old teen vampire novels The Vampire Diaries; the success of AMC’s Mad Men was similarly the template for several aesthetics-stealing shows such as Pan-Am and the ill-fated Playboy Club.
7. It’s a Heartwarming Fish-Out-of-Water Comedy – On the rare occasion that a new show isn’t either a reboot or a reality show, there’s a very good chance that it will be the always-safe fish-out-of-water comedy. There are a few variations on this ever-present theme; hardly ever are they groundbreaking.
8. It Attempts to Make Mundane Jobs “Extreme” – When reality television meets everyday occupations, terrible television is almost always the result. Exterminators, bail bondsmen, and flea market profiteers all have shows that are dedicated to their occupation; pawn shops are the most heavily represented, with several different shops hosting camera crews that observe their dull haggling.
9. A “Poor Privileged Suburbanites” Premise – It seems that television writers have yet to catch on to the struggling economy and the very-real struggles that the majority of their viewers face each day; the sheer number of shows that attempt to elicit sympathy for spoiled upper-middle-class suburbanites is proof that much of Hollywood is out of touch with the actual population.
10. The Advertising Push is Enormous – When a heavily-hyped new show is exhibiting signs of weak viewership, networks will often throw good money after bad on a huge ad campaign designed to “revive” the show. After the failed campaign, the time-slot shuffle often begins, tolling the death knoll for the series.

Keep your eyes out for the obvious signs and save yourself the displeasure of watching anything that has the doomsday foreshadowing already written across it.

Taken From Cable TV Providers