10 Great Excuses Not to Mow Your Lawn

As some of you already know, I’m not a fan of mowing lawns. It just so happens that mowing season coincides with fishing season, swimming season, grilling season, and just about anything else besides spending the whole day riding around in circles on a mower season. So it should come as no surprise to those of you familiar with my aversion to lawn care that I am replete with a plethora of reasons to avoid spending my day mowing. Allow me to impart some of them upon you who share my distaste for the drudgery that is lawn mowing. I give you 10 great excuses not to mow your lawn:

1. A Moment of Silence, Please. “It’s John Deere’s birthday today, honey. No one mows today. It’s a time of reflection, to acknowledge his great contributions to agriculture with a day of rest. Really.”
2. The Grassimus Optimus – “My lawn mower works at optimal efficiency when the grass is just a shade taller than this. A couple more inches, and she’ll be able to slice through this stuff like a hot knife through butter, sugar. Honest.”
3. The Loan Ranger - “I’ve been trying to get the mower back from Dave Smedley for a week now, but Sarah says he’s on a business trip in Des Moines ’til next weekend. I guess the mowing will just have to wait.”
4. The Elmer Fudd – “Shhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. There’s a nest of white-breasted nuthatches in that tree right there. I think it’s best that we refrain from any disruptive activities until those eggs hatch, don’t you?”
5. The Vidal Sassoon – “Oh I don’t know, honey. I just thought we could do so much more with it if we let it grow out a little longer in the back. I was thinking of maybe going with a Mullet cut this time, whaddya say?”
6. The Claritin Commercial – “Well, would you prefer that I spend all day mowing the lawn, or would you rather frolic with me in open fields of tall grass, celebrating our freedom from allergies?”
7. The Cialis Commercial – A close cousin to #6, but with a slight variation in outdoor activities, and a much higher success rate.
8. The Treasure Hunt – “I’ll get started with the mowing just as soon as I’ve located the lawn furniture, the kids, and the door to the tool shed. By the way, have you seen my machete anywhere?”
9. The Au Naturel – “You know, our forefathers never shaved or mowed their lawns, and they hunted for their meals. In fact, I think I saw a wooly mammoth hiding in the weeds back near the tool shed.”
10. The Brett Favre – “I haven’t decided yet whether I’m coming back to mow this season, or if I should just hang ‘em up and go fishing.”

Taken From Lawn Care Service