Thursday, August 4, 2011

10 Ways to Embarrass your Kids on Facebook

If you have a teenager on facebook, and you do not want them on there anymore, it is pretty easy to embarrass them enough to get them off. You may even have an adult child whom you wish to seek a little friendly revenge on, to get them back for all the times they embarrassed you in public. Whatever your reason, there is plenty of ways to embarrass your kids on facebook. Listed below are the top ten.

  1. Add Their Name to Yours. You have probably seen how some women put their maiden names in parenthesis to help old friends identify them. Instead, put your kid’s name in the parenthesis instead. So your name is now Suzie (Johnny Smith’s) Mom. Be sure to be on their ‘friends’ list to get the full effect.
  2. Profile Pics. Posting their childhood photos to your photo albums just isn’t good enough. Find the most embarrassing photo you can of them as a child, and use it as your profile pic. Make sure to include a note to the photo telling how it came to be.
  3. Friend Their Friends. In order to properly embarrass your kids, you need someone to embarrass them in front of. Go ahead and friend request all of their friends. You will not only have an audience, but you can keep tabs on your younger kids’ friends this way as well.
  4. Day to Day Conversations. Instead of picking up the phone, or talking to them in person, use facebook as your new medium for keeping in touch. Post embarrassing conversations on their wall such as, “Johnny, please remember to put the toilet seat down when you are finished, I fell in this morning, AGAIN!”
  5. Fan Pages. Find some outrageous fan pages and like them. These will pop up on your kids’ news feeds and the feeds of their friends that you friended. Remember your child’s name is in yours, so now it will say “Suzie (Johnny Smith’s) Mom Likes Women with Flatulence Problems”
  6. Like or Comment to Everything. Anytime your kids post a photo or status update, make sure you click like and comment on it. If they post a photo of themselves rock climbing you might respond with “That looks dangerous honey, did you get scared? It looks like your pants are wet.”
  7. Suggest Dates. Anytime someone of the opposite sex posts on your kid’s wall, take advantage of it. Comment after theirs saying, “You seem like a nice boy (girl), why don’t you and my daughter (son) get together for a date?”
  8. Use Shorthand Aggressively. Using text speak SMS shorthand comes in handy when sending a text, IM’ing or for a quick response online, but can get real annoying if you over use it. So go ahead and LOL, TTYL and CYL8R all over your kids facebook page.
  9. Intercept Messages. If one of your teenage kids gets a message on their wall from another friend to call, text or message them, you have a chance to really embarrass them. Reply back for them saying, “Sorry Sally, but Johnny is grounded and will not be able to meet you at the movies on Friday.”
  10. Threats. This is a great one for dad’s to use on their daughters. Anytime a guy posts something to your daughters’ wall, make sure you add your comment to it. If a guy comments on a photo saying “You look hot” you can respond back with “Dear guy friend, have we met? If not, we need to, SOON.” A profile pic of you holding a shotgun will add well to the embarrassment and fear factor of this type of comment.

I would highly suggest using a few of these ways to embarrass your kids on facebook, but not all. Unless of course, you are wanting to alienate them or remove yourself completely from their lives.


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