Thursday, June 14, 2012

10 Reasons Men Can Be Selfish and Stupid in Relationships

It’s no secret to any woman who’s ever been in a relationship with a man that they can sometimes be incredibly selfish and unbelievably stupid. To add insult to injury, they’re often completely oblivious until their mistakes have been pointed out… repeatedly. Here are ten of the reasons why men can behave this way, even in happy relationships.

  1. He Doesn’t Realize What He’s Doing – The biggest reason for most bad boyfriend behavior is actually quite simple: he has no idea that what he’s doing isn’t acceptable to you. This is especially the case with younger men who have limited relationship experience and are basing most of their actions around bad movies, men’s-magazine advice columns, and the collective knowledge of his equally-clueless buddies.
  2. He Doesn’t Know Any Better – As they begin to get a bit more experience, some men will realize that they’re not behaving properly but are still clueless about what they should be doing. If he’s worth it, a bit of patience and a lot of communication can go a long way towards helping him grow.
  3. Women Can Be Passive-Aggressive – Women like to believe that every stupid thing their man does is his own fault, but this isn’t always the case. Many times, his forehead-slapping behavior is the result of nagging, whining, or passive-aggressive actions on your part. Before flying off the handle, examine your own behavior to make sure that he’s not simply reacting to you.
  4. He’s Under a Lot of Pressure – When people, male or female, are under an extreme amount of financial or professional pressure, they can lash out at the people closest to them. While it’s certainly never acceptable for him to be physically or verbally abusive, the occasional lapse in good sense is understandable if he’s under an enormous amount of stress.
  5. He Has Feelings For Someone Else – Few things strike fear into the girlfriend’s heart like the idea that her man is secretly harboring an affection for another woman. Unfortunately, this does happen from time to time, and can cause some pretty abhorrent behavior on his part. If his selfish behavior is accompanied by distance and clues that indicate potential infidelity, it may be time for a serious heart-to-heart.
  6. He’s Frustrated in Other Areas of His Life – Frustration with his career path or the direction of his life as a whole can cause a man to question even the things that are going right in his life. Regardless of how good your relationship may be, if he feels stifled in other areas, he may begin to feel as if you’re holding him back as well.
  7. He Takes You For Granted – At a certain point in a relationship, two people become comfortable with one another and begin to settle into a routine. When your man is confident that the two of you have a good thing going and he believes it will last, he can inadvertently begin to take you for granted. In a strange twist, his frustrating behavior can indicate that he’s simply so sure about your relationship and its future that he no longer feels as if he has to be constantly on guard.
  8. He Had No Positive Male Role Models – Boys who grow up in a single-parent household in which their mother was their sole caregiver may not have a strong male role model in their life, causing them to grow into men with no real-life examples to guide them in how men behave in healthy relationships.
  9. He Has Even Dumber Friends – Women aren’t the only ones who grill their friends for advice; men just do it in different ways. Between crude jokes and raucous laughter, nuggets of dubious relationship wisdom are passed along. All too often, the tips picked up at these gatherings leave women shaking their heads in disbelief and frustration.
  10. He’s Just Not That Into You – The phrase that launched a bestselling book and spawned a blockbuster romantic comedy is so popular because it is so true: sometimes, a man just isn’t that interested in the woman he’s dating. If his behavior is consistently aloof or indifferent, he may just be using you as a diversion until something better comes along. While this can be hurtful in the immediate, shouldering the pain and removing yourself from this unhealthy relationship is the best thing you can do for your long-term happiness.

Some men, especially those who are in or just finishing college, make mistakes in their love lives simply out of a lack of experience. Others, however, may just be no-good guys. Try to be objective when evaluating his behavior; if his intentions are genuine but his application is lacking, he may just need a bit of patience on your part. Men that treat you poorly and feel no compunction about it aren’t likely to change anytime soon, though. In this case, it’s probably best to cut your losses.

Taken From Top Dating Sites


  1. No most men are selfish because todays world is still male dominated where men get free passes to act like selfish pigs and alot of women are emotionally weak, passive aggressive and enable this behavior.

    Women are more compasionate caring and nurturing- this has been our role throughout most of human existence so if we go against this we are judged more. Biological basis too- the area of the brain for communication and empathy is larger in womans brains than male brains.

    Women are held to higher standards of behavior than men. Ever notice all the phrases that excuse men, "Im just being a guy" or "boys will be boys" but NO PHRASES exist for women like this, even for female behavior that scientific studies have proven is normal? Guys get away with more, because they run the show and very few women hold their male s.o's to the same standards that are expected of them.

    Im just wondering, when a woman acts selfish why cant she get an article like this? There are very few of them.

    Bottom line: Men ARE the more selfish sex, they are biologically wired to want to fuck every woman they look at and not have to deal with the consequences. They have less of a mothering instinct and think about themselves more because the human race depended on it. They could be taught to not be this way. Sadly, women enable this alot!

    1. Cleo, you could not have said it any better! Great comment!

  2. This column is extremely sexist and misandristic, not to mention the comment that "cleo queen" left. First off why are you talking about men like they are dogs to be trained to any whim that a woman wants, if there was a column like this about women, women would come out of the wood work up in arms about this. Another grievous insult is that women are completely innocent in all relationships and everything wrong in a relationship is a mans fault. As for "cleo queen" aka extreme sexist, here's some phrases for you "Girls just want to have fun" "Its a woman's prerogative". And oh yeah while that whole theory you have about women being over all better parents and I guess people in general, in olden times women were raising the children and tending the village or keep or township what have you, but what were the men doing hmmm let me think oh yeah FUCKING DIEING in feudal and clan warfare, and all military service back then was forced soooo who is more selfish and entitled? And to act like everything in the world is mens fault is ridiculous and misandristic, stop being so close minded if you really think that this world is male dominated why do people think like you and no one says boo but if the same was said about women shit would hit the fan. The truth is, men are the disposable sex and are constantly and forever taken for granted in all aspects of our society so much so that this phrase is taken seriously "Women suffer the most in any war". Yeah that makes perfect sense, its not the guy who just got his guts tangled around a bayonet and is now dieing via disembowelment which takes hours...... but yep it sure is women that suffer the most in wars. I'm being facetious of course why don't you grow up and take some responsibility in your own lives rather than blame others. Have some pride and take some agency in your own life rather than expecting it to be handed to you which is what most women want.

  3. Obviously you have no idea how some men can think, probably including yourself. Most women do not want whatever "it" is that you are speaking of, "handed to them." My husband does indeed take me for granted. He was all romance, and couldn't do enough for me. Then BOOM! Marriage came along and he even went so far as to tell me when to go to bed. He never held a full time job, always part-time. I would work 10 to 12 hours a day, 6 to 7 days a week depending on the demand from the warehouse, and he'd be sitting on his butt expecting me to cook the dinner, clean the house, diaper the kids while he sat and watched sports. He's disabled now, and you'd think he'd realize how crappy he acted. Well guess what? He didn't and won't. He now uses his disability as a tool of control. He uses his sons as beasts of burden, never says thank you to them, refuses to smile and talk about something other than himself. Now before you jump all over me about the kids should help their disabled dad, let me set the record straight. This man travels in a wheelchair all over the country by himself to attend his sporting event he participates in. He takes care of himself, by himself while he's gone. The very moment he returns, it's "do this, do that." Got the picture? Yet, he will smile and joke around with his friends, and ask how they are doing. He never asks us how we are doing, and all we get is a scowl. At church, he is so pious, and so interactive with others during Sunday school class, but shows no spiritual leadership in the home. He's a hypocrite. I want to discuss things with him, and he'll nod a bit then change the subject right back to himself. We don't have a marriage any more, we just live together. So until you know what you are talking about, I suggest you try to get more sides to the problem instead of looking at it that all women are out for the man's wallet. Oh, before I forget, while men were "FUCKING DIEING" (actually spelled 'dying' - get a dictionary) in wars, it was men that started the wars in the first place.

  4. I took it from
    You can post your complaints there.